Joe Blake and Terry Collins.
This is lieutenant McCormick...
...of the Los Angeles Police Department.
Put down your weapons and come out of the bank...
...with your hands in the air.
"One last big heist."
What a great idea!
Yeah, Joe knows best.
Yes, siree.
Joe knows exactly what he's doing.
Exactly what he's doing.
What is Joe getting me?
Stuck in a bank called The Alamo...
...surrounded by the entire Los Angeles Police Department.
Look out there!
Remember now people.
These guys haven't been prone to violence yet, in any of these incidents.
So, everybody just stay real calm. All right?
Joe Black and Terry Collins have finally met their match.
I think they're running out of luck very quickly.
They're gonna need more tricks up their sleeves than Siegfried & Roy...
...if they think they're gonna get out of this one.
If you're just turning in, we're in front of the Alamo Savings and Loans...
right here in Century City.
The place looks like a war zone.
The troops are moving in here...
...the SWAT team is moving in, the helicopters...
Lao Tzu says, that even the softest of things...
...can pass through a horse like invisible water.
Thank you for that completely useless bit of information, Joe.
You know what your problem is? Huh?
My problem? Yeah.
I'm trapped like a rat!
Destined for an early grave.
Kate Wheeler.
You remember Kate.
Traitor...
...liar...
...queen of double-cross...
...empress of deceit.
Hey, duchess.
I get your point. OK?
Oh, do you Joe?
Do you really?
Because as I recall, I remember warning you...
...in the strongest language possible
...that taking on a full time hostage was an error of epic proportion.
- We had no choice. OK? - Yes, we did!
Shoot her, and burry her body in the woods. That was a choice.
Hey! You brought her in! I recall that!
You know what? If we had let her go...
...she would have gone right to the cops. OK?
Joe, look outside.
She did.
That's exactly what she did.
Kate Wheeler is gonna get the thanks of a grateful nation.
Not to mention a sizeable reward.
We've got shots fired in the location.
Good evening everybody, I'm Darren Head...
...and tonight we have an incredible story for you.
It's a story that's part soap opera, part crime drama.
A story of betrayal and greed.
It's part Bonnie and Clyde...
....it's part Barnum and Bailey.
It's a story of Joe Blake and Terry Collins...
...the most successful bank robbers..
...in the history of the United States.
Now, shortly before the bloody shoot-up that took their lives...
...I had the opportunity to interview these men in an exclusive interview...
...when they broke into my house...
...and, by gunpoint, made me tell their story...
...from their point of view.
Now, the reason I bring this up, is that the footage you're about to see...
...was shot on a home video camera by my personal assistant, Julio.
So, it's a little shaky and a little wobbly...
...not exactly professional.
Now, what happened in the wide range of exchange, is Blake and Collins...
...revealed to me for the first time anywhere...
...the inside story, of the daring robberies...
...that made themselves famous.
24 hours later, Blake and Collins were dead.
Now, we have an exclusive... OK.
Again.
24 hours later, Blake and Collins were dead.
So, tonight, on a very special edition...
...of "Criminals at Large"...
...the inside story, the true story...
...of the "Sleep-Over Bandits".
And... fade to black.
That was great, guys. I wanna keep that one. All right.
You got it. We'll use that one.
It's ridiculous.
If it's not that, it's another.
It's downright unethical...
Nobody wants us to eat this crap.
Hey, Joe! Joe!
May I have a word with you, please?
Hey, Joe! It's a violation of my civil rights.
That's what it is.
Cruel and unusual punishment...
...expressly forbidden by the Constitution, you hear?
Prison is supposed to be cruel and unusual, Terry.
That's the whole idea.
That's not what I'm talking about.
What are you talking about?
Garlic.
Warden Cater has banned the sale of fresh garlic in the commissary...
...because he doesn't like the smell.
You see Joe, it's like a... ...it's a miracle drug.
High blood pressure, and arthritis, and cancer...
...emphysema, allergies, anything.
Garlic is the first line of defense. Always.
Hold on one second, mate.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
And I got symptoms.
I don't care what that doctor says.
Maybe now it's not a good time to talk about garlic?
Hey, Joe. You know. Don't worry about it.
Once you come down on that ring...
...don't... don't do what I think you're gonna do. Please!
You remember what I told you, right Joe?
Don't... don't... don't do the...
You really chipped my tooth, Mario.
Joe, for God's sake. Joe!
Joe, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Joe! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Joe! Joe, anger management.
Anger mana... Joe!.. Joe! Joe! Joe!
Anger management!
Joe! Calm down.
Breathe.
Have you read the Tao?
Sorry?
You know, that guy, Lao...
Lao Tzu.
Now, here you go. Lao Tzu.
You know Joe, I've begged you to stay out of the library.
You've begged me to work on my anger management.
Yeah, well, medication's quicker.
It's much more effective.
You know what?
I would like to sleep in a comfortable bed tonight.
And to have me a cheeseburger...
...French fries...
...big old chocolate milk-shake for dinner.
Ancient Chinese wisdom?
No, just hungry.
I definitely chipped my tooth.
For the love of God...
Does no one else hear that infernal ringing?
Oh, yes. Sure. Go ahead and laugh.
But according to the latest research...
....Tinnitus, which is what they call it, that's what I've got in my ear...
...I don't make this shit up, is an actual disease.
Go ahead and laugh.
Play basketball, have fun.
In the mean time, I've got goddamn Quasimodo going off in my head.
Bell tower, you understand me?
I got a bell tower in my head!
Hey, you're the driver of this thing?
Yeah.
Pretty easy to drive, is it?
Pretty easy.
Joe?
Oh, my God Joe! What are you doing in a cement truck?
Joe? Joe!?
Joe, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
Why are we in a concrete thing...
...getting shot at?
Just keep your head down!
Take it down!
Joe! Jesus Christ! Straight ahead is a truck!
- How long have you been planning this? - It just sort of came up.
Hang on to something!
Deer!
Plastic.
Don't you think we should be looking for a road?
Joe?
Stop. Stop, please.
Madam.
We're gonna need to borrow your car.
You are?
Yes. Would you just leave it for a second, please?
Come on. Here you go. Very nice.
Thank you.
It's a really lovely dress.
Thank you.
Come on.
Thank you! Get in the car.
- Ma'am? - Yes?
Don't forget your purse.
Thank you.
OK. First things first. We need... What do we need?
We need clothes...
...we need money...
...place to hide...
We'd better get a new car pretty quick.
I don't feel good about driving up Main Street...
...wearing clothes that say "inmate".
Do you know what I mean?
And why are we stopping here?
This is where they keep the cash.
The cash!?
Hey! Stupid!
What cash?
Didn't you say something about needing money?
Oh, yeah. But I mean not right now.
Look, Joe.
Let's just discuss this for a minute.
I mean, I know that money's on the list...
...but it's not at the top of the list.
- Bingo. - Bingo, what?
What do you mean, "Bingo"?
Are you gonna knock-over a bank with a "magic marker"?
I mean, what are you gonna do? Write on them?
We don't even have a plan.
You have to have some kind of plan to rob a bank.
We're wearing matching damn uniforms that say "inmate" on them.
Unless these people are blind, I don't think this is gonna work.
Do you understand?
Don't move.
Take out your gun, thumb an middle finger on the butt...
...hand it to me slowly.
Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be out of your lane in just a second.
No phone calls, no alarms, please!
Cash doors, open!
Take a bag, fill it with cash!
Cash, please!
Ma'am, is there any other cash in the back?
No.
Don't touch that phone, sir!
Are you sure? Don't touch that!
- Are you telling me the truth? - I'm telling you the truth.
You look very honest.
Quickly, please! Thank you! Thank you!
He made, he made no plan whatsoever for this.
Here we go! Put that right in there.
I'll take it.
Thank you! Thank you!
I'll take that! Here we go!
OK. Thank you very much.
There's just never enough time when you're working.
Thank you for your cooperation!
No phone calls! No alarms!
Here we go! Come on!
Take this.
Sir! In case you need to highlight anything!
Here we go! Let's go!
Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop!
- Hey! Ho! Ho, ho! Ho! - What?
Sir? I need to borrow your car.
Take the bus, asshole.
Hey! Come on! This car!
Let's go! No, no! This car! This!
Have the gun?
No.
Goddamn it! Hold it!
Come on. Stop it. Act regular.
Chest pain, left arm a little numb...
...accelerated heart beats, spots.
I'm actually seeing spots.
Hang on. Hang on. Hang on!
Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!
Hey Terry, come here.
It's all right.
May I, please, go back to prison?
Not yet.
Oh, shit!
What's your name?
Cheri.
Zip up your pants, Cheri.
You too.
I'm Phil.
So, where's your mom, Cheri?
My mom doesn't live here anymore.
And your dad?
Oh, he's fishing for the weekend.
So your dad left you here all alone.
Oh, no, he thinks I'm at a friend's house.
And how about you, scooter?
I told my folks I had a soccer trip.
Lie to your parents?
You're kidding, right?
No, I'm not kidding.
I'm sorry...
...who are you, guys?
Hey, you're inmates.
What'd you say your name was?
Phil!?
Do you think there's something funny about being an inmate, Phil?
We're bank robbers, OK?
So, what's on our mind?
Paraiso del Mar.
Paraiso?
Paradise.
My uncle owns this little hotel, on the water, about 100 miles south of Acapulco.
That's Mexico.
Right. That's where they keep Acapulco, Terry.
But I have sanitation issues, Joe.
We'll buy the hotel, turn in into a night-club and resort...
...I could wear a tuxedo, sell margaritas to the tourists...
We could have some fun.
You'd do that!?
I mean, you and me.
Yeah.
Partners?
Partners.
Tuxedos and margaritas?
Good, right?
Yeah.
I could run the kitchen, you could work the room...
It's a high-risk business, but, considering the alternatives...
I think that sounds really good.
Just have one question. How do we pay for it?
Well...
...we are bank robbers.
So, where is it?
Below my belt and above my knees.
No. You know what I mean.
You're gonna get us killed.
Maybe I'll save the day.
We'll both be rich and famous and on TV.
I think there's a way to do it right.
I'm sure of it.
So, where is it?
In daddy's closet, behind the golf clubs.
All right, I'm going.
What's the biggest problem, every time you rob a bank?
Getting caught?
Exactly.
There's guards to shoot at you...
...there's tellers to hit alarms...
...there's customers to get in the way, right?
You're right.
You need to control the environment.
No guards, no tellers, no customers.
Yeah, but if you work at night...
...you still gotta deal with the alarms.
But we don't work at night.
When you do it? Holidays?
No.
We do it with the bank manager...
in the morning, with the bank manager's keys and the bank manager's vault codes.
Because we kidnap him the night before.
I mean, think about it.
We pick a town, we pick a bank...
...we find out who's in charge...
...we pay him a little visit...
...we spend the night with him, like we are here...
...the next morning we all go to work together...
...before anybody else gets there...
...we take the money and run.
Tuxedos and margaritas, Joe, just like you said.
Life will be like one big sunset.
Wanna se something neat?
Aim the shotgun at me.
What?
Aim it at me.
Freeze!?
Pretty good.
But first you gotta pump a shell into the chamber.
Like this.
Neat.
Conversation is over, all right?
Well, I feel good in this color...
...I've always liked this kind of color.
But you boned me on the pants, Joe.
It's really not fair. It's a low blow.
I picked those pants out for me, I laid them out.
I specifically chose those.
Well, well! Look at you, gentlemen!
Are the clothes all right?
Are we looking spiffy in plaid!
He likes plaid.
Oh! Two sugars, right?
Thank you very much.
Cheri, we're gonna have to borrow Phil's car.
Oh! That's OK. He doesn't mind.
The hell I don't.
It's a new transmission.
So, where are we headed?
Rufus.
Where's Rufus?
It's up the road a little ways.
What's at Rufus?
Pollard...
Harvey Pollard.
What?
Oh, you feel the need to shoot?
Well, go ahead, and shoot then.
Oh, you feel the need to shoot?
Well, go ahead, and shoot then.
What the hell?
Feel the need...
Hey!
Ho, dog!
Joe!?
Joe!
What's up? I thought you were still in...
No, no. No. Got out early.
Terry...
...say hello to my cousin, Harvey Pollard.
Glad to know you.
Any friend of Joe's, man...
Was that, Harry?
Terry...
Well, those are wicked pants!
So, what are you doing? Working?
Special effects.
Well, stunt work primarily.
Well, mostly training right now.
Damn squibs don't fire.
We're looking for somebody that can handle a car.
Well, I can do that! Why?
Banks.
You're fooling me.
Well, hell, Joe, I'm just the man you're looking for.
You want a beer?
- Yeah, I'll take a beer. - OK.
Timer malfunction.
Drop!
I'm gonna get a beer.
He's honest, and he falls real good.
Me, I wanna make a name for myself with fire.
I've been practicing with gels, you know, mostly on my hands...
...but I need a suit.
Harvey, speaking of the job...
Never wondered why a man sets himself on fire...
...and jumps off the top of a 12 story building?
Gosh, no, I didn't, Harv!
Women love a man who loves danger.
You guys were talking before about the "front" man, you kept mentioning this guy...
Will you explain to the people at home and to me...
...what exactly the "front man" does and who he is?
Well, well, Darren...
The front man handles pretty much everything else except robbing the bank.
He... he rents the rooms...
...he gets the supplies, the food that, you know, we would eat...
...he drives the getaway car...
Right.
Joe and I maintain, what you call, a "low profile".
Right.
If the front man is never seen in a bank, we're never seen out of one.
And... I plotted all the banks that we robbed...
...from Oregon to California... - Right
Our first bank on the list was the Oregon City Bank.
So, the schedules, and the routines, and the bank guards, the tellers...
...we got it all down.
But mostly, we watched our first hostage.
Darryl Miller, the bank president, didn't know it yet...
...but he was about to spend the night with the "Sleep-Over Bandits".
Wow.
That sounded good, right?
Yeah, it's pretty...
Didn't know it yet, but he was about to spend the night with the "Sleep-Over Bandits".
Yes, it's very newsworthy.
Look! It's his job, all right? I asked...
...I asked him to get me a good mustache...
and he gets me something that looks like it came out of a cracker-jack box.
This is not about the mustache.
We've got to work.
Well, he's got you a nice wig.
Look at you! You look great!
Yeah! Have you noticed the burns? They're kinda flappin'.
Hon, can you get the door?
Everybody, dinner in a half hour!
Howdy.
We're here to rob your goddamn bank.
Now, just get in there.
It's OK, mummy.
The important thing, here...
The important thing...
...is that we spend a quiet night together...
...and then, tomorrow morning, bright and early...
...we all go down to the bank together, and...
It's really a reasonable proposition, if you think about it.
Sure.
Whatever you say.
That's the spirit.
Stop playing with your food, Erika.
But it's too long.
Here.
Next time I want you to try to wrap it round your fork just like daddy does.
Cut mine, mom.
Just a second, hon.
The sauce is too wet.
It's not too wet.
Yes, it is. The sauce is too wet.
You know, actually Ms. Miller, this sauce is quite terrific.
- It's brilliant. - Isn't it?
I hate it.
Thank you.
What time is the vault set for?
7:30.
- Tomato/lemon? - Yes.
Lemon zest, oregano, a little cream...
See, I cook a little.
Keys?
Two.
I have one...
...the operations officer has the other one.
There's something in here I can't identify, though.
Is it basil?
No.
Rosemary? No! Don't tell me!
Don't tell me!
Is not that big of a deal.
It's saffron.
Yes.
Yes, it's saffron.
Bingo! I knew it!
You know, sometimes I put a little sugar in mine.
It cuts the acidity.
Pss pss pss... Sugar!
Thank you. I'll try to remember that.
Little tricks, you know.
Wanna see something cool that I can do?
Sure.
Monica!
What?
We've got guests...
Sort of.
Do you think you're gonna fool anybody in that getup?
I mean, you look like Neil Young in that...
What was that album?
"After The Horses" or...
That was "After The Gold Rush" and that's not that one.
It's the one where he's leaning against the tree in the snow.
Or whatever. That's what I was actually going for.
Going out of the bank is almost as important as getting into it.
The hostages were kept under the strictest possible guard...
...to prevent escape or alarm of any type, you see.
You see, we had to bring their kids along...
...the Miller children.
Butane?
Copy this. Butane.
You're all clear and ready to rock and roll.
Please, turn the music down.
I can't hear a word you said.
"Clear and ready to rock and roll!"
Thank you.
Hey, girls. You just stay right here.
Everybody should be here in ten minutes.
What's the "All clear"?
What's that?
Washington, on the inside.
What?
George Washington.
When it's all clear, he's facing in.
Make "All clear", Darill.
Cool.
Three more.
Good morning.
Good morning, Darill.
Good morning, ladies.
Is this a joke?
No, ma'am.
This is a bank robbery.
Hurry it up.
It's not a parade. Come on.
All righty then.
Just have seat with everybody else...
It's not gonna take long.
Monica?
I have to go to the bathroom.
No more juice boxes, Cloe. OK?
If it weren't the fact that the kids had bladders the size of humming birds...
...yeah, we would've been done.
Well, they drank a lot of juice, Frank.
One of these days you're gonna get caught.
It's a really dangerous job. Aren't you a bit scared?
And afraid?
When you know danger the way we do...
I know it like an animal, like a wild animal.
You know what they called me in jail?
No, I don't.
The Panther.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for your cooperation.
Please, make no attempt to escape...
...because we will be monitoring the police scanners, and we'll kill you if you do.
When you're a well-done machine you exude danger.
Sure.
People fear you...
...they fear your presence...
The gun really is secondary.
Thank you.
Now listen.
We go separate ways...
...two weeks from today we meet in Klamath Falls.
Right. Now, you take this map. It's on there.
I wanna go with Joe.
You can't do that.
You can't. They're looking for two men.
And that's why we're splitting up...
...going solo, as planned.
What am I supposed to do for two weeks?
You stay out of trouble. Try that!
What about the minivan?
You leave it here.
But I like the minivan. It's roomy.
I appreciate that but, as it's a stolen minivan...
...it's probably better that you leave it here.
Let's go. We gotta go. Come on.
And what about my money?
Here's yours, right there.
We split it three ways. Nothing fancy.
I'm buying me a fire suit. First thing.
I bet I can mail order one out of L.A.
Way to go. Good job, man!
You too, buddy!
Be careful.
Be careful. Stay out of trouble.
What are you gonna buy with your shares?
Paradise.
Two weeks, Klamath Falls.
Be careful.
Joe Blake and Terry Collins.
This is lieutenant McCormick...
...from the Los Angeles Police Department.
Put down your weapons and come out of the bank...
...with your hands in the air.
This could be a bad time, but I just wanna point out...
...that I did warn you that, that woman was gonna be the ruin of us.
Right. Understood.
But, as our future looks rather bleak and miserable...
...I suggest we figure out what got us here in the first place.
Which brings us back to that woman.
"The most common symptom of Vaginitis...
....is an abnormal vaginal discharge, often..."
"Probably from an allergic reaction to mites."
Out of gas.
Shit.
What is that smell?
It's a gratin of Florence fennel...
....new potatoes...
...clam and sorrel soup...
...with cream and mirepoix...
...and stuffed quail.
Kate, I have a dinner tonight. Clients.
Tonight?
Oh, well. It's just for fun.
I'm going to the gym. See you!
- Sweetheart... - Yeah!?
Why don't you go see a movie?
Stoop!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Are you all right? Are you OK?
Come on! I'm so sorry.
Come on. Hospital, hospital.
"Cascade Memorial Hospital is located at..."
Can you move your toes?
Voices.
I hear voices.
I heard voices. Are those in my...?
Hey! You pull! You pull!
You pull over and...
You pull over and get out of the car.
Don't need to get all huffy about it.
You... you need to pull the car over...
It was an accident.
Listen.
I will shoot you with this thing.
Oh, go ahead!
It will be an improvement, believe me
Are you listening to me, miss?
- Kate. - Kate.
I'm a desperate man.
- Desperate? - Yes.
You don't know the meaning of the word.
Desperate is when you wake up in the morning and you wish you hadn't
...it's knowing that every time you get by in the wheel of a car...
...you're only a tree away from ending the empty charade that your life has become.
So, don't talk to me about desperate.
Listen. On second thought, why don't you just pull over and let me out right here.
- Thank you for the lift. I'll be fine. - No. No!
I'll just walk from here. Why?
I'm feeling very fragile at the moment.
I don't think I should be alone.
You're insane!
I'm unhappy.
It's not the same thing.
Hey! I'm a fugitive from justice.
I'm a dangerous criminal.
Oh. That explains the hijacking.
You hit me!
You can't expect to step in front of a moving automobile and make it stop.
Yes you can! I've seen it done!
Will you not yell at me!?
Well, can you slow down, or something?
I wanna get out of here.
I'll jump! That's what I wanna do!
How do I do to unlock this door?
Push your button. Let... let...
Unlock this door!
So, where you're headed? I'll drop you.
You're in no shape to drive.
So, you're a fugitive, huh?
- What did you rob? - Everything.
"Alert! The Global Positioning System is rerouted! Alert! Alert!"
Where is that coming from? What is that?
Between the second set of trees...
...the second set of trees, right here.
I'm on fire! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Just don't ask!
Look here! Yeah!
What the hell is this?
Kate, Paul Bunyan. Paul, Kate.
Kate?
I ran out of gas.
And?
And she hit me. With her car.
OK. She hit you with her car.
What the hell did you bring her out here for?
One: I had no choice.
Two: I may have suffered a slight concussion.
And three: She's mentally unbalanced to a spectacular degree.
I can hear you.
I tried to escape. She wouldn't stop.
I almost jumped from the speeding car, Joe!
You hear me? I had double vision.
What was I gonna do?
Your left eye is a fraction darker than the right one.
Nobody ever noticed!
I'm Joe.
I'm Kate.
Oh! What happened to your tooth?
Why don't you just go on your way, OK?
Act like you never met us...
...and send us a postcard from Crazy County.
Can I stay here?
Is just that I don't know where else to go.
It will only be one night.
Please?
I'm not sure we can do that.
Absolutely no way! That's not possible!
I can't go home.
I can't.
I could go to the police.
I mean... What's to stop me from leading them straight to your hideout?
What are you hiding from?
Anyway... I mean he didn't tell me.
He's very, very discrete.
Come here, Joe. Come here.
What are you...? What's with the...?
- Joe, I wanna talk to you. - What's happened?
Jesus! This is a very, very bad idea.
In the history of bad ideas this is a humdinger. OK?
She's right about the police.
Shoot her!
Bury her body in the woods!
What am I? Invisible?
- She says she has no place to stay. - It's none of our business.
Well, it is now that you brought her here, isn't it?
Well, I needed a ride! OK?
There I was sprawled down on the asphalt.
You know the hardest thing about being smart?
No.
I always pretty much know what's gonna happen next.
There's no suspense.
And don't think I didn't see the look in your eye over there...
...and feel out a little hair and that kind of stuff.
I'm implementing a 24 hour rule from now on. OK?
It's in effect.
24 hours.
24 hours and not a minute longer, missy.
Thank you.
Hey! I'll cook dinner.
I cook the dinners around here.
Sorry. Not familiar with the outlaw code.
Does that mean I'm a hostage?
Well, I was in Las Vegas.
Don't get excited.
I'm not talking to you.
But Joe, you know the costs.
Hotel remodeling, real estate.
I've estimated $20,000 for the kitchen alone.
I mean we're talking about restaurant-quality here.
And that's not to mention the nightclub.
You know, I've got a crippled cousin up in New Hampshire...
...that's going in for her 7th operation on her leg. OK?
I got my mother's people up in Ottawa...
...the aunts and the uncles...
...these bills add up Terry, OK?
Listen. I'm really impressed about any and all charitable contributions.
How crippled?
Did you know you could bet on Irish hurling?
Hey, hey, hey! Excuse me, Harvey!
I'm trying to figure out why my partner here...
...when he wasn't helping improve the Blake family standard of living...
...manage to spend $200,000.
I met a very lovely young lady from the Netherlands down in San Diego...
Oh! Color me surprise!
...who took me to this Oktoberfest deal...
...and they had a big parade and she wanted to ride on one of the floats.
OK? So, I bought her one.
Now, we were drinking these big steins of Holland beer...
...and one thing leads to another...
...and I'm throwing $50 bills out to the crowd.
The thing about Irish hurling is that it's like football with sticks.
Stop it! Stop it! Please!
For God's sake, Pollard! OK?
OK. You meet a girl, you go to a festival...
Oktoberfest.
...you throw $50 bills to the crowd...
I noticed you got a new gold watch...
It's an 18 carat-gold watch.
I don't give a shit how many carats it is.
$36,000. No big deal.
Did you ever think to ask someone about the time?
It's a lot cheaper.
Anything else?
Well, yeah. We stayed a couple of days longer...
...than I thought we're gonna, down in San Diego, and I had to get her back to the Netherlands...
...so I chartered a private jet to take her home.
Oh! Of course you did!
- The Netherlands. - Yeah.
- Joe! - What?
Listen.
Let me try to explain something to you.
Paradise doesn't come cheaply. OK?
Now, I figured this down to the last nickel.
Now, and here's the important part...
...every nickel that we spend is a nickel that we have to steal.
Now, that's a lot of nickels, Joe.
I don't wanna rob banks for the rest of my life.
The stress level is just too damned high.
Harvey... Joe... Dinner's almost ready.
Now, this is not bad.
It's a little... Hmm...
...it's a little chewy, but...
You boys, ever eat and talk at the same time?
We used to.
So, what sort of work do you do? Crime wise.
Bank robbery.
Well, they rob banks and I drive the getaway car.
Harvey! That's enough, Harvey!
Wait a minute. You're not...
the guys who go to the bank manager's house the night before and...
- They do. I drive the getaway car. - Harvey!
Oh, my God.
You're the "Sleep-Over Bandits".
Oh, my gosh, you're practically famous.
The "Sleep-Over Bandits"?
That's us?
Don't you watch "Criminals at Large"?
You should. They're watching you.
You're astounding, Harvey.
So...
...you rob banks. That's impressive.
What? The little old ladies' saving accounts, and cub-scout dues...
....and homeless orphans' Christmas funds?
Is that what...?
We never stole a penny from anybody who earned it, lady.
The money's federally ensured by the government.
The government steals money from people, and we just take it back from them.
Any more questions, Kate?
Got a spare toothbrush?
I didn't have the time to pack.
God! Nobody could be that sick!
Put that down.
May I?
What are you doing here?
Cleaning my teeth.
I mean, manic depression, delusion, I understand all that.
It's very impressive, but...
Do you know how many germs are on your finger?
That kinda defeats the purpose.
If you don't give me a toothbrush, I don't have much option, do I?
I don't think you're crazy at all, you know that?
I think you're bored.
I think you're bored with your life...
...and you're expecting that some miracle's gonna drop out of the sky, and suddenly make everything better
...or at least hopeful...
...because you lost hope a long time ago.
And your marriage sucks.
But, I'm sorry, Kate. We can't help you.
You don't know me. You only think you do.
You're joking.
Saw it in a movie.
How does it end?
With a wedding.
Beavers and ducks.
Suckers.
I'm not waiting for anything to fall out of the sky.
I'm not bored, I'm angry.
Maybe I'm running out of hope.
It's entirely my fault...
...cause I picked the wrong life.
"The Valley spirit is a woman.
"Use her root at the Gateway of Heaven, and it will never fail."
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Not a clue.
I'm hoping that it means:
"Figure out what you want and just take it."
Oh, please...
Well, like robbing a bank?
Like that. Yeah.
If only life were that simple...
"Like a shadow on me all the time."
"I don't know what to do,"
"I'm always in the dark."
"We're living in a powder keg, giving off sparks."
"Once upon a time, I was falling in love."
"Now, I'm only falling apart."
"Nothing I can do,"
"Total eclipse of the heart."
"Once upon a time there was light in my life,"
"Now there's only love in the dark."
"Nothing I can do,"
"Total eclipse of the heart."
Oh, my God. Give me a break.
"Turn around, bright eyes."
I can't believe you know that song!
Yeah. Bonnie Tyler.
Total Eclipse of the Heart.
It's the ultimate sappy chick song.
- It's not a sappy chick song. - It's very sappy chick.
No, it's not. Please, don't argue cause I've had a really hard day.
This is the song that all girls...
It is an epic haiku...
A what?
It is a haiku to the complexity of love.
It's also pretty embarrassing for guys.
When that song was out, I used to listen to it on the radio...
...I have to admit I'd get a little misty.
Really?
Yeah, a little.
And I would appreciate it if you don't mention that to anyone.
I won't tell a soul.
Thanks.
It's all right. I'll get it.
Oh, I can get it.
No, no. Just stay under the covers.
You know another song jacked me up when I was a kid?
The song about the pony, one five minutes long.
Oh, I love that pony song!
I love all pony songs.
- Really? - Yeah!
It's the one that goes: "Ride pony, ride..."
That's Mustang Sally. Close. It's a horse.
Wasn't the pony called Sally?
No this pony. He was called Wildfire. He busted down the stall.
They called him... Wildfire.
- Joe... - Yeah.
I think I know what I want.
Amazing.
Joe, the 24-hour rule is all that stands between us and chaos.
Are you listening to me?
We're at a crossroads here. And I want you to be very clear about my meaning.
I'm changing the 24-hour rule. OK?
No, no, no. You don't understand.
She's a missing person.
Missing meaning that someone's looking for her.
You get it?
I'm changing the 24-hour rule.
May I help you?
Oh, I'm sorry. We're here to rob your bank.
What the hell is that?
It's a disorder that affects your ability to regulate sleep and wakefulness.
I thought he was dead.
No, that's cataplexy. A secondary symptom.
Sudden loss of voluntary muscle control.
I just have a question. Why now?
Well, in Larry's case...
...emotional stress is the primary igniter.
Do you have a guest bedroom here, madam?
We'll ask you to start right here in the manager's office.
Go ahead.
You never know what's gonna happen during a robbery.
That's the thing.
There's always a surprise of some kind...
...you know, beyond your control.
But, I mean, the thing is that you have to remain calm under pressure and think on your feet.
No, no! All that I'm saying is that it seems a little silly falling asleep during a bank robbery.
Well, it may appear silly to you, but there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
Done.
I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous.
It's OK, Larry!
Nothing to be nervous about.
You see, my body chemistry is extraordinarily sensitive to suggestion
Any symptom can be manufactured, given the right circumstances...
...and that, by the way, doesn't mean it isn't real.
Ah! Jesus! This stuff is hot.
Go get Mrs. Fife.
So, I met this girl and, you know, I wanted to impress her, so I said:
"Do you wanna see me light my hands on fire?"
'Cause I bet you've never seen anything like that before.
And she said: "Well, what about your head?"
Your head?
Yeah, my head.
You know, I don't have the proper gear for that stunt, at least not yet.
I said: "No way!"
But she wouldn't listen, you know.
Flaming hands wasn't enough.
She wanted to see me set my head on fire.
So, what did you do?
Singed off half my hair.
A little bit more, sweetheart.
Here you go.
Is he coming around?
Because... because we really need him to come around.
He's coming... around.
We really don't have that much time. This is ridiculous.
It's the emotion.
A nervous breakdown here.
Guys, we have a problem.
We got multiple bogies at nine o'clock.
What the hell is that?
It's the drive-up window.
Someone's at the drive-up.
At eight o'clock in the morning?
- What do we do? - Nothing.
Hello.
I'm telling you, if you act too eager like that. Dottie is never gonna give you a second look.
Women do not respond to needs.
It's the police.
Good morning.
Where's Dottie?
Who?
The drive-up girl.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dottie. Of course.
Aaah... she's sick.
Sick with what?
Vaginitis.
She's been suffering from an abnormal vaginal discharge.
It's the common symptom.
A viscous fluid usually associated with... well, Vaginitis.
It's usually associated...
All clear above us.
You're all right?
That was great!
- It's exciting, right? - Yeah.
Why a college parking lot?
Well, there's lots of cars around.
Even in the morning.
Leave the Jaguar here.
No gambling.
I'll see you in Tonopah in two weeks. You understand?
- Yeah, all right. Two weeks. - You hear me?
Well, he'll get tired of her.
Just takes time. You'll see.
I don't know. Kate is a special lady.
Kate is an iceberg waiting for the Titanic.
Has anybody seen Kate Wheeler?
Local authorities are investigating the possible connection between the missing woman...
...and the latest in the series of bank robberies committed by the "Sleep-Over Bandits".
Wheeler vanished just 24 hours before the robbery at the San Andreas bank.
Her abandoned automobile was discovered at short distance...
...from the automobile belonging to the bank manager Lawrence Fife.